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Saving lives, supporting families

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Befriending Service

Tamba BSG Befriending 

If you feel you would benefit from talking to someone please ask to be put in touch with our bereavement befriending coordinator, Sharon Darke.

Our befriending service can be accessed at any point on your journey through this tragic loss. In order to find you the most suitable befriender it is helpful if you can provide some details around your loss and the circumstances surrounding it.

Our befrienders are all mums, dads and grandparents who have lost babies or children that are multiples.  Please note Tamba BSG Befriending  is not counselling but peer to peer support. As a charity we do not offer counselling but we do encourage you to access whatever services your hospital may offer. Many hospitals have bereavement support counsellors which you can access at any point on your journey through your bereavement.

In the video below Tamba Befriender Suzie talks about how this service helped her cope.

 

A Personal Story of Befriending 

Helena, bereaved mother of twin girls & member of Tamba BSG shared her experience.
My identical twin girls died in December 2010 after battling Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome in utero. Although I accessed help from a professional counselling service it was the friendship I struck up with Sharon (my befriender) that got me through it.

The difference between counselling and befriending was that I felt there was no professional agenda – I wasn’t being managed through my grief, I was just allowed to talk. I called Sharon on good days and bad and she touched base with me regularly. I took great strength and courage from the fact that she had lost twins herself and it was good to be able to hear her experiences and relate them to my own. I felt she really knew and understood. 

 As well as calls, she would text regularly and intuitively, at just the right time to pick me up when I was in a dark place. I think it also helped that I had never met her and didn’t know what she looked like, yet she felt like my soulmate. Sometimes it was easier to talk and cry to someone you can’t see or who you won’t bump into on the street.

 In those early days I would speak to Sharon very frequently and nowadays our friendship has developed so that we speak mainly about other aspects of our lives that we have in common. We’ve even met up with our subsequent children and it was lovely then to put faces to the names we had talked about for years. Sharon will always be a part of my life, as I feel we share a special bond through our babies. I would recommend anyone who has suffered the loss of a baby to take up the lifeline that is befriending - it might just be the light that guides you through those dark days.