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The World According to Toddlers

6th April 2018

Because Big People just don’t understand us properly, we clubbed together and wrote this list so you can see things from our perspective (also known as the RIGHT way).

*Vegetables are yucky but licking and biting the communal toys at playgroup is totally fine.
You Big People are obsessed with these things called “germs” but putting toys in our mouths is way more fun than eating those orange and green things that allegedly make us grow big and strong.  

*Bedtime is a punishment made up by Big People.
We actually think we could stay awake forever. And will always try our best to do so.

*If Grandma says it’s okay, then it’s okay.
We always get extra treats at Grandma and Grandad’s house and it’s AMAZING. So why do you tell us it’s bad for our belly? We’re not falling for that anymore!

*You CAN chat in the bathroom.
We felt so proud when we were potty training, we want to cheer you on too. We’ll say: “Good poo Mummy, well done!” if you just let us in the door. Or if you don’t want to talk about that, we can explain the latest plotline for the cartoon we’ve been watching. We don’t mind, just let us chat.

*Some rules about property:
If I like it, it’s mine.
If she has it, I want it.     
If you’re using it, I want to use it.
If I’m building something, ALL the pieces are mine.
If I was using it a while ago, then stopped using it, then you started using it, I’ll then decide I need it back and it is mine.
If I saw it first, it’s mine.
If it’s broken or damaged, you can have it.

*Just because I liked banana yesterday, does not mean I will like it today.
How do the Big People not get this? Our tastes change on a daily or hourly basis. Keep up!

*The screaming at night is unnecessary. 
When we walk into your room at 3am and stare at you while you sleep, then you wake up and scream, believing us to be a creepy ghost child, it’s really off-putting. Instead, just wiggle to the edge so we can sleep right in the middle with our arms spread out like a starfish. Thanks.  

*We love you.
We know you get things wrong sometimes and give us carrots instead of chocolate spread and hugs instead of new toys, but we know you love us lots. Thank you. We love you too!

Related blogs: 

A blog by me - Isabelle (aged 7)

A-Z of multiples

Photos taken inside the womb

Tamba's Writing Competition Winner



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