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What type of Mum are you?

15th April 2019

Twins and Tortoise

Mums….it takes all sorts

Can you relate to this blog by twins.and.a.tortoise

Do all mummy friends fall into these groups?! 

The Over-Sharer Mum

I’ve known you for 5 seconds and you’ve told me all about little Williams poo habits. That explosion at the soft play centre where you had to cut off all his clothes. “Do you want to see a photo?” No, I bl***y don’t.

The my baby is harder than yours Mum

She’s intense. No matter the day you’ve had or how many sleepless nights in a row, Tina’s had it tougher. She’s been up for 72 hours straight and hasn’t had a cuppa all day. Tina NEEDS a break.

The Adventure/Exercise Mum

Well, this is definitely not me. She has her baby strapped to her front whilst she climbs Everest once a week. Well, slight exaggeration but if little Freddie isn’t hiking or hill climbing then she’s jogging with her stroller and lunging in her lycra around the park.

The Organic Mum

Baby Beatrice is dressed in eco-friendly cotton head to toe and would be perfectly presented at all times. She’s the hippy, earth mother co-sleeping with her baby and of course, it’s only home-made snacks and sugar-free until Beatrice is at least 10.

The always on a schedule Mum

Always checking the time and stressing about the schedule. Seriously organised. Can’t possibly plan anything that might interfere with the 11.05am naptime or the 1.33pm feed so basically, don’t plan anything with her at all.

The Milestone Mum

Competitive and Smug. She’s read all the textbooks, spends her life on Google and knows every milestone and development stage for her little pudding and of course, she is going to share every s i n g l e one of them with you. Can your little Grace sing the alphabet standing on one leg by 3 months? Because obvs….my Molly can.

The Worrying Mum

Worries about EVERYTHING. Loves a GP appointment and takes over the group chat with a million medical questions. AKA Calpol Queen. Would take Evie for a weigh in daily if she could to make sure that percentile chart is just where it should be.

(I still don’t understand the percentile thing at all?!?)

The Judge Judy Mum

She knows best. There are the silent Judge Judy types and then there’s the really confident Judy’s who will tell what you are doing wrong and what you need to change whether you have asked for it or not. She knows everything and she’s been there, done it all, tried it all and of course, can do it better.

The Social Media Mum

You meet her at group….once….she adds you to her page and before you know it you see more photos of little Jacob than you do your own baby. She loves to share every little thing they do that day and of course all his ‘firsts’, these never get annoying. Notttttttttt. First roll over. First laugh. First Banana. First trip to Asda. Oh bore off.

The does whatever she wants Mum

She doesn’t bother following any recommendations. She freestyles her way along with whatever works for her and is so blasé about it all its hard to believe she is responsible for raising a tiny human. I think there’s two types of this mum – those that then put all their effort into being glamour mum and those that are totally taking advantage of being off work and are slobbing in their pyjamas till 2pm.

The Weirdo Mum

Well in a nutshell she’s just a weirdo who also happens to be a Mum.

I sit there sometimes amongst my new mummy friends and wonder if we would all be friends in different circumstances without us all going through this life changing event together and who knows… maybe, or whether we all just meet once a week for the cake.

But hey, as irritating as we all are, we are all different types of mummy’s and we all have different babies and that’s what makes it all so special. 

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